Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The interesting humour of our Vice

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Why XXXXX , what a sour, humourless little girl you are!

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There's a dude calling himself "the cool knight". How cool can it get in a suit of armour, I ask myself? And doesn't he realise that getting out of it surreptitiously without waking up his babe's mother sleeping in the next room is impossible? Talk about living dangerously!
There's a babe who goes by the name of "xxxxx bonanza". Gotta be one gorgeous member of the Mafia Vitaceae.
I'm sure you're a hero to your mother, "kev-style", whoever you are. Mother's are biased that way. But have you asked your wife?

*************************************************************************************But just as many, if not more, of you haven't bothered as yet. So here's what you need to know: You have a fortnight to set this right; then you're out of our communications loop. You could decide to join the Timbuktunian Tribe of the Terminally Misplaced, I suppose. It's not what I'd recommend, so I am once again attaching the DCF that I hope you will fill out and return to me as an e-mail attachment. (Did I remember to tell you that Timbuktunians are cannibals with a well-developed taste for feni-drenched Goan flesh?)

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Right you are, old chap. But may I say I've never met anyone with a more compelling reason
to commit patricide.

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Dear Whatchamacallit,

OK, if you insist.
But "XXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXX"?
Are you serious?
Was Daddy?

I know how it must feel.
Mine named me Estanislau Gerard Tome.
(With a grave in the Tome, no less.)

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Don't push it, d'Gama Rosa mojea moga.
Us VP pygmies (now where did I pick up that phrase?)
have been known to leap on cheeky young things from very great heights

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I learned long enough ago that one doesn't mess with a military man's suzerainty. May I nonetheless say that your name would be just a regal if it was followed by de Bombastico-Zuzarte, de Colombine-Montezuma or a non-commital de, as in Shobaa. But hey, celestial one, who am I to re-invent anyone's wheel?
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